"So Close, Yet So Far Away (2005)"

So Close, Yet So Far Away (2005)

I'm begging you to take my hand,

as I can't bear to lose you for good...

because I lost you to jealousy once,

and I've come so close to getting you back,

so I don't want to end it so far away...

I want you near me to chase down the monsters

that drives us away from each other.

I must admit my unending love for you,

all in the name of what I feel is the truth

and what I see is the beauty of it all.

I sometimes cry myself to sleep...

all because you're not by my side;

so I wonder what must I do now

to save myself from a lifetime

of loneliness that is bound to come

my way, as well as your way too.

Therefore, we are so close to what we need,

which really is each other in life;

but we almost always end up

so far away from our goals in life,

and I don't want this love to be one of them.

Enjoy!

Calisto Phoenix

The Ultimate Seduction (2005)

The Ultimate Seduction (2005)

I know just what I want and need,

and you are definitely the one

that will satisfy all of my needs

as well as all of my desires,

but since you're not by my side,

there's nothing I can do or even be

other than the ultimate seduction.

But perhaps there's a slight chance

for you and I to unite as one being.

Even though it might or might not be so,

you know that I'm madly in love

with what is madly known as you.

And even with that in the brain,

it only has driven me insane.

However, as the ultimate seduction,

I must admit my love for you

in honesty and from my heart

before I die and then rot in hell.

So... Although it' s not do or die,

I know it's something I must confess

to you and to all that is around us.

Enjoy!

Calisto Phoenix

New poetry, "As Your Lover"

As Your Lover

I know in my heart I am immortalized,

but as your lover I'll never be,

so coming as I am I suddenly realize

I am human...

and I always will be.

As your lover I'll see the light

when you start seeing the dark,

and when people see you wrong when you're right,

I promise to be the home of your heart.

Knowing your spirit and mine alone,

we can tackle everything on earth,

and in heaven we'll never be in stone.

So...

as your lover, I am always here

to set your soul free from hell's wrath,

and as our two skins combine like sheer

silk and goes onto the unbeaten path,

you know that to you I'll be near,

and to me you'll run my bath

water while we are both in the nude

As your lover I want to make

true love to what I see as you,

but I know you'll beat me to that.

Enjoy!

Calisto Phoenix

Too tired, too pissed off, you know the drill...

Hello world!

How is the start of the weekend treating you? I hope that all is going well with you as it's not the case for me. You see, I am having my dark days now due to the move back in April of this year. I can't pay off my damn debt as my bank is playing games with my money, and that's not the end of it. I have to find a way to get more minutes on my cell phone without using the "plastic" that I own, which makes it more difficult for me to maintain the cell phone. So that is how I am having my dark days as of right now.

On top of that I got told off for doing the right thing at work last night! Here's what happened, in full detail: where I work at, there are belts for me to put things on. There are eight moving belts total. Three of them, which are the major belts were turned off. I had to cut the guy that was giving me my work because I KNEW that if the work was still coming when the belts were off, that means even more time and work for people like me. I know I can't stay there past a certain time due to the fact that I have to take the bus!

Someone from management said that I have to keep on working no matter what. Now how the hell was I supposed to keep on working when almost half the building was off? You call that working safely? Answer me that one if you may! I very strongly believe that you have to get the work done right the first time so that you can save time and money. The management is starting to a) get on my last nerve, and b) getting less wise to figure out to get the job done right without paying the staff accordingly.

Well, that is enough of my ranting for today. I will try to report again sometime this weekend. Laterz and peace!

Calisto Phoenix

Life is good!

Hello world!

How is life treating you today so far? So far, for me anyway, is all good. Why did I say that, you might ask? All because my bathtub got fixed today, after days of it leaking and causing hell to my friend and neighbor in the apartment below me (I live on the third floor of the building in case you're wondering). I knew that after she showed me the problem there was something wrong in my bathroom, but I didn't know what it was that was causing the problem in her apartment. So it's a good thing that my troubles got fixed as well as my friend's troubles, because if it were to continue, then I'd be in serious trouble!

But other than that, I am seriously considering promotion at my job and that means that I would get more money per month, however, I'd be losing my union protection at the same time, however. Therefore, I have to take the good with the bad. Speaking of taking the good with the bad, I am in yet another debt counseling program so that would mean I am on a budget once again, but that is good because I need to stop my spending habits. However, had I not moved into my apartment at all, I would be in the same one that I was in before, but like I said earlier, you have to take the good with the bad.

On to other things in my life! My girl Rya is back at my job and she is somewhat pressuring me to get a boyfriend, but as I am: a) 23 years old, b)too single to care about a thing, and c) in no rush to get one at this time, why should I go with the flow when I can be me? Yeah, I will admit that relationships do make people happy, but I need to figure out who I am, what I want in my life, and what I need before I even try to care and do things for someone else, let alone be with someone, especially like certain guys that I know are good looking but are too attainable. Well, I have to get going now so that I can get to other things in my life. I will try to write again later on this week with more updates. Laterz and peace!

Calisto Phoenix

Weekend updates for September...

Hello world!

How is everyone doing (or faring) this weekend so far? I hope that all is well with you as it is for me, as a friend of mine is getting married (I won't say who, however) and as I am happy for this person, I will be chanting and praying for a safe and happy wedding at my apartment. I just did my laundry and I am hoping that my beloved Chicago White Sox will pull themselves together and win their division this month so that they can win the World Series in MLB. I thought that the Chicago Cubs would do a surprise run, but as they suck and aren't doing as well, I am going for the White Sox.

But other than that, I am doing good, despite the fact that I got way too much sleep, so I am a bit tired. I also left my cell phone on last night but I only lost one fourth of my cell phone's energy, so I am not having any qualms about that. I got a 20-hour week from my job (including the Labor Day pay that I get), so I am happy about that too! I will most likely go into management at my job so that would mean that I have to say goodbye to my hourly position at the job. There is a guy at my job that is not only a sweet guy, but he looks good too! That is all that I will say on that topic because I have to get going now. I will try to report again tomorrow if not Monday or Tuesday. Laterz and peace!

Calisto Phoenix

I might have a change of heart...

Hello world!

How is this week treating you so far? I hope that all is going well with you as it is for me. As the title says, I might have a change of heart in terms of my job, as I probably will stay at my current job, for the reason that I most likely will go for promotion to management there. Then again, you never know what is going to happen to me if I choose to go for a full-time job either in the city or in the nearby suburbs. So, to Tina and to my loyal readers, stay tuned for more info!

As for anything else that is going on in my life, I am doing alright because at least I had a decent bus ride home last night, despite the rain before I left my shift for the night. So therefore, I am doing good overall. The same people are annoying the living shit out of me so that would mean that I am about ready to beat their asses to hell! My love life is still the same: single and loving it to death!

Oh yeah, I need to tell you lot something. I was kicked out of a debt counseling program recently due to me moving and whatnot. But you know what, I am back with a new, more reputable program, so that I can get out of debt faster. So that is my latest in terms of my updates. Well, I have to get going now so that I can get to my job before 5:30 tonight. I will try to report again tomorrow. Laterz and peace!

Calisto Phoenix

Even more updates!

Hello world!

How is life treating you today? I hope that all is going well with you as it is for me indeed, because... I think I might go into management, but not until next year due to the fact that all of the spots for management is taken right now and I may have to wait until next year when another spot is available for me to take up. So Tina, you may have to wait awhile for my decision to see if I will go into management if you ever read this. So there you have it, my decision to stay at my current job for the time being. Then again, you never know what I might do to my job situation...

On to other things in my life! I saw this movie, "Broken Flowers," the one with Bill Murray, and it was strange as hell, mainly because the plot didn't make any sense at all, not to forget that it wasn't even funny! Lucky for me, I was at the bus stop on time after I have gotten my backpack back from my old residence after the movie was over with. Now here is the messed up part: after I got to the bus stop from my old residence, I had to wait over 30 minutes for the bus to get to work, as the first bus broke down before the one I saw came along.

But other than that, I am still tired and a bit hurt, as my back was murdering me last night while I was on the clock. That's what I get for getting all of the heavy trailers last night. Next time, I should get all the light trailers as I don't think I can take it anymore. Well, I have to get going now. I have to get to other things in my life right now. I will try to report again tomorrow, if not Friday. Laterz and peace!

Calisto Phoenix

This might not be a good week for me, but who cares anyway?

Hello world!

How is the other half of Labor Day weekend treating you? I hope that all is going well with you as it is for me. Well, nowhere near as good. I'm on my time of the month, so ladies you can feel me on this one, and I freaking overslept this morning, as I got up like a couple of hours ago after going to bed at like 8:30 last night and getting up at around 2:15 this morning. I was supposed to go to a Buddhist meeting in the city to support a friend of mine, but as I said before, I just overslept. NOT A GOOD IDEA!

Anyway, I bought some new CDs as of Friday and they are GOOD, and that is when I know I should have bought some necessities with the cash too, but who cares?!? I am in a new debt counseling program and it's better than the other one that I got kicked out of, as...Well, I cannot go into great detail about that one right now. As for anymore pictures, I have yet to develop one of my disposable cameras but I do that based on groups of three disposable cameras at a damn time! Now that's what I call a better idea!

On to other things in my life as of now! I might go after the supervisor position after all at my current job but you never know what I might do assuming that I get a full time job. Well, this is the time that I have to go for the time being. I will try to report again on Tuesday as I won't be around for Labor Day itself. Laterz and peace!

Calisto Phoenix

Heading to the crossroads...

Hello world!

How is the long weekend treating you so far? I hope that all is going well with you as it is for me. Since I last talked to you lot, I saw an old friend of mine at my current job: Tina Cumberlander. The conversation that we had was rather interesting because as I am looking for a better paying job, Tina told me that I should consider moving on up in my current job and leave the search behind. That is how I managed to get the title of this entry today...After doing my laundry and listening to some of my new tunes that I bought yesterday.

As I am the type that doesn't like to stay at one place for a very long time, I want to move on. However, as virtually no one wants to hire me as a full-time worker, I may have no other choice but to take the management position on and have an even better looking resume on me. So I have a choice to make here: either move up in the company or leave the company when the full-time job is landed upon. I have no other news to report to you, so I will get going now. I will try to report again tomorrow and/or Tuesday. Laterz and peace!

Calisto Phoenix

September is here!

Hello world!

How is Thursday treating you so far? I hope that all is going well with you as it is for me indeed. I have found a few more leads in my search for a full-time job and I faxed my resume to a few companies, but no luck as of yet since the shitty interview a couple of Tuesdays ago, but as I said before, I can't give up quite yet. Oh well, that's life there for you. Then again, life can treat me well if I play my cards right and continue to go after certain jobs in the city or the nearby suburbs. The only thing I can really do is to chant and pray to the Gohonzon about my problems finding a full-time job.

Onto other things in my life! I went shopping for food yesterday and I was using the remainder balance on two of the cards to lower the cost so that I can get a higher remaining balance on the third card. I got some interesting stuff like some salad, ice cream, Gatorade, milk, more baking soda for the fridge and freezer, ranch dressing, a whole chicken, among other things. And my love life is still the same, no boyfriend, no problem! :) Like I said earlier in this entry, I have to learn how to play my cards right so that I can find me a REAL MAN and not what I have dated in the past, hee hee hee. Well, I have to get going now so that I can get to other things in my life. I will try to report again this weekend. Laterz and peace!

Calisto Phoenix